Connecting

Connecting

In the current situation of social distancing, many have lost physical contact with friends, family, and others.  This has created sadness and despair for many, while others have learned to connect in new ways.

I would like to ask you “How are you connecting?”  “Have you let it change your entire life for the worse?” Or, “Have you found ways to adapt?”

I believe that the universe is asking us to change.  Are you open and willing?

It’s important to understand “What are connections?” They are the links and associations that bind us to other things. For example, our experiences create bonds to people, animals, and objects, and our memories influence these relationships, for better or worse.

Since we are experiencing a change in how we connect and I would like to suggest a few ideas to help people.

First, a simple way of connecting I discovered was when we moved to a rural community. I was amazed to see how friendly the neighbors were.  As we drove down the road, people we didn’t know were acknowledging and waving at us. We didn’t know them, but here they were, greeting us in a friendly manner! This recognition felt pretty incredible!

Because of this, I started to do the same.  Not ‘knowing’ who the people are but knowing that they are somehow neighbors and are important. This practice has enriched my life immensely, especially during this period of time of isolation.

Another way to connect is when you go to the store, smile through your mask, and acknowledge the people you pass.  Often, a “Hello,” or “How’s your day going?” provides an easy connection. The conversation that ensues is sure to be pleasant and you’d be amazed at how this enriches your life. And just imagine what it does for the other person.  You never know what they are going through and how you just might have made their day.

Connecting with nature is another way to enrich your life.  This is often overlooked.  There are so many creatures and plants that are just waiting to be your friend.  For example, the tree that has always stood in front of your home, providing you shade and protection.  Stop for a moment and notice the branches and its’ shape.  Greet it, and wish it a good day. You just might see it smile back at you or bow in your honor.  Life is magical—just step into it and see!

Talk to the birds, the plants, the bugs.  They are all beings living in this world ready and willing to work with you. I am rarely lonely as I have many friends in nature.  They support me as I try to support them and the relationship is enchanting!

Change your perspective. A friend of mine who is a musician has been playing some gigs in our area, she states she is cautious with the virus but is also allowing herself to live!  She wears her mask when social distancing isn’t available and makes sure she takes good care of herself.  She connects with others while helping lift their moods through her music.

In this time of uncertainty, there are many opportunities to connect.  They may be different from what we know, but there is plenty of ways we can enhance our well-being and lives.

Opportunities in this disconnect!

      • Take time to mend a relationship. The distance can facilitate healing the relationship!
      • Reach out to someone you know or have heard that is in need. Just talk. It will enrich your life and theirs!
      • Connect with an animal—go to the humane society—volunteer.
      • Take an online class. Zoom allows you to connect with other people and possibly learn something new that expands your horizons.
      • Take a moment every day to notice all the good things that happened in your life that day. Things as simple as the sun shone brightly, can be one of your things to be grateful for.

As you find the courage to step into this new world, be grateful for all the things you learn and encounter.

Life is meant to be lived. 

Featured picture by Fabian Gieske, Unsplash.com

Articles bring messages that creates successes!

Have you ever read an article that helped you or a loved one, when you least expected it? Did it seem to appear at just the right time? Did it inform you of something you were not searching for?  Success in many areas of our lives often originates from messages from our guidance.

 

This type of information, whether it comes from a magazine, a book, an email, or social media, can be considered a message especially when it positively influences your life.  When you step back and look at these types of experiences, it will amaze you how much information appears at the most opportune time. I have had this experience many times and I have come to recognize and know that this is my guidance helping me on my path.

So, what makes it a message?

      • First, the information you receive seems as if it comes out of the blue
      • Next, you have an undeniable feeling that this information just might be important.
      • And lastly, you weren’t looking for it, but there it is, staring at you, and you realize that you have just been handed information that might solve a problem.

Learning to follow your feelings is very important in working with your messages.  You may have learned to ignore your feelings in favor of following logic or someone else’s ideas.   So, it may take time to reconnect to your feelings, but it is well worth the effort to develop.  Play with them. Make time to explore and play with your feelings, and soon you’ll see that you have this guidance built right into you!

 

Your guidance gives you messages in a variety of ways. It will give you messages that are specific to you and in a manner that will resonate with you.  For example, if you like to read, articles and books may be one of the ways your guidance may choose to communicate with you. It may choose other ways such as animals, people, or dreams depending on your interests.  However, since you are reading this article, I’m sure that this is one of the ways your guidance has chosen to work with you!

 

I received this type of message just yesterday. As I was perusing Facebook, I ran across a post that explained how Chinese herbal medicine and science may not be in alignment.  As I read the article, it confirmed for me, what I have felt to be true.  I knew it was a message because I wasn’t looking for this information and I probably would not have searched it out.  But there it was!

 

This article helped to deepen my connection with herbs and my practice of Chinese Medicine and hopefully will help me to become a better practitioner.  The article pointed out how herbs have an impact on the human spirit, physical vigor and it’s even at times your willpower—and it is these attributes that are difficult to be measured in a test tube.

 

Start to notice how information that affects your life shows up. 

 

See how this information helps you in your job, relationships, and projects. We often refer to it as a “coincidence” or “luck,” however, there really are no coincidences!  For more information on your messages and guidance, please read my book Your Personal Guidance System,”where you learn what it is and how to work with it.  I know you won’t be disappointed as you discover the help that is always there waiting to assist you.

Featured Picture by Jamie Street @ unsplash.com

 

8 Benefits of Kindness & Helping Others

At this time in the world where there is a lot of uncertainty, being kind and considerate of others is very important. When you can lend a helping hand to someone, it can ease anxiety and worry, creating a better place for everyone.

Do you remember a situation when you surprised someone with something special for them? How did you feel?  How did they feel?  This state of connection and joy that you experienced, decreases worries, anxiety, and fear.  These emotions reduce and “go out the window”—at least for a while. Now imagine, feeling this way all the time.  All it takes is kindness towards another being—animal, plant, or human to create this.

What is even better is that everyone wins!!  It is a win-win situation.

Here are 8 Ways You Win with Kindness!

      1. It can help reduce depression Remember the last time you did something nice for someone? How did it make you feel?  A sense of Joy? Peace? Satisfaction? Sadness disappears.
      2. It deepens your ties with others and you gain new friends.  A bond is formed when someone is helped by another person.  Think about your friends and those that have helped you and the bond you developed.  Isn’t your tie to them deeper than those who are acquaintances?
      3. When you help another person, you gain self-confidence. Your character grows which helps you as you traverse the world.
      4. Increases positive energy for you, the person you help, and the world! All parties benefit! Being kind to others—enriches your life as you see the joy in others.  It enriches their life, so now you have 2 positive energies in the world which can go out and create more positive energy. Remember how a smile creates another smile?  Kindness creates Kindness!
      5. Being of service to others fills your heart and soul with a sense of joy and satisfaction. It gives you experiences to learn by and understand life.
      6. Volunteering helps builds community, social ties and creates new friends. You find new friends who have the same interest vs. working someplace, where you are “just doing a job”.  These relationships reduce stress.
      7. Volunteering can also aid you in your career, creating new connections and the experiences give you confidence and character. You never know where the person you meet will help you down the road.
      8. Creates gratefulness for what you have and allows you to see humanity differently.

Helping others is just good business!!  Everyone wins!

Now that we know how beneficial it is to help another, here are some ideas and reminders of things we can do.  These are easy to do when you get caught up in a busy life.  When doing these acts, remember to do it from your heart!

Here are 8 things you can do!

      1. Listen to someone. This is such a valuable gift. Oftentimes you can offer a different perspective that they had never considered, thus enriching their life.  Do you recall the time when someone took the time to listen to you?  They may not have been able to help, but you were heard and that is priceless.
      2. Smile at someone. A contagious act, which can be done all day long!!
      3. Volunteer—find a charity that you like. It doesn’t matter what that charity is the benefits that come are well worth it.
      4. Call an old friend. We lose touch with many people, and a phone call periodically raises the joy in both people.  Reconnect!
      5. Leave a dollar bill someplace for someone to find and attach a note wishing them well. By giving anonymously and without attachment, creates a sense of adventure and fun.  Try it!
      6. Buy someone you don’t know a drink or meal. This can be done when you are out somewhere by using the waitress and clerk.  Do it anonymously and watch the joy that ensues!
      7. Find someone in your community that has had some struggles and anonymously “adopt” them and leave inspirational gifts or needed items. Again, reap the benefits that this brings.
      8. Allow yourself to be served, it levels the playing ground and allows the other person to have dignity and a good feeling. Everyone wins!

When you intend to benefit others, you receive so much.

No one has ever become poor by giving.”  

Anne Frank

Featured Image by Austin Kehmeier                  From Unsplash.com

Blog Talk Radio Interview Sept 18 @8AM PT

My interview with Randi Fine, of A Fine Time for Healing, can be accessed here! We discuss what is a guidance system, the different messengers. Discover what are Fun and Challenging messages. Learn the difference between #emotions and #feelings and many other topics from my book “Your Personal Guidance System: Unlock the Door to the Universe and Experience the Magic.”

Tune in at BlogTalkRadio.com with Randi Fine on A Fine Time for Healing talk show!!

Self-doubt and 8 ways you can eliminate it!

The universe is always giving messages to help you.  These messages assist in making decisions and guide you on a path that creates a life filled with joy and happiness.  The problem is we often ignore these messages, primarily due to doubt. Whether it is about the message, ourselves, or our own abilities, doubt wreaks havoc in many ways.

When I reflected on messages I didn’t follow or ignored, I found the following.

      • I ignored messages due to self-doubt- I was afraid to follow my feelings and therefore discounted the messages I received.
      • I justified ignoring my feelings, believing that others knew better or more than I did.
      • I didn’t research my feelings. I just gave my power to other people.  No research or confirmation of whether these feelings were true or not.

So, what happens when you ignore gut feelings due to your self-doubt?

      • It prevents you from moving forward—procrastination, hesitation, or ignoring a situation sets in.
      • It stops you from starting or completing things.
      • Makes you afraid to ask others, lest you show your “ignorance” or “weakness”
      • Let’s you give your power to others

These actions or inactions create many problems, and it’s primarily due to our own self-doubt.  Signs that self-doubt is at work can be found when your efforts produce little to no results, an inability to make decisions, and/or simply ignoring important things.  Some of the things you might find yourself saying indicate that self-doubt is active are:

      • What if I mess things up?
      • What will people think?
      • I’ll probably make a fool of myself
      • I can’t or I don’t do anything very well
      • I’m just not smart (enough), talented (enough), capable (enough), experienced (enough)…

When you hear yourself stating these ideas to yourself or others, it’s time to stop and notice what you just said.  Ask yourself some questions.  Does it really matter what other people think?  People are usually so involved in themselves that they rarely look at others.  What if something doesn’t go right? Isn’t this an opportunity to learn from it?

I have found when I face my self-doubts and simply say no to them, I can see the situation more clearly.  I realize that my fears and doubts have been magnified based on silly beliefs and often are simply not true. My mind and body feel lighter as I approach the problem with a new perspective.

It’s time to question whether these thoughts are real or coming from insecurity. Ask yourself, “Where do these thoughts come from?  Are they true?”  We may feel we aren’t enough, but in reality, we are perfect just as we are at that moment.  We can always learn or gain more experience to improve our skills, but that comes from trying new things and eliminating the fear of failure.   Failure should be embraced as an opportunity to grow and learn.

When you face your doubts and fear there is a lot to be gained and very little to be lost.  You gain:

      • Confidence- when you recognize your own strengths and abilities
      • Ability to speak up and share your thoughts, ideas, and abilities, which creates forward movement
      • Better decision-making skills
      • You acknowledge your messages and dare to follow them!

Now that you understand the benefits of releasing your fears and self-doubts, here are some ideas you can utilize to stop doubting yourself.

      1. Be kind to yourself—don’t beat yourself up. Life is a learning process—enjoy it
      2. Say no to the doubt immediately—re-evaluate the situation.
      3. Step back and be an observer. Listen to your thoughts. Are they based in reality? Are they echoes of someone else’s voice telling you that you can’t do this or that?
      4. Don’t compare yourself—know you have gifts and talents that are unique to you. Your gifts and talents have as much value as any other persons’ gifts.
      5. Look and see how much you already know and understand, recognize how much you have grown in your life. Congratulate yourself!
      6. Investigate how you can increase your abilities. Take a course. Read a book. Research it. Practice.  Embrace the process of learning and growing.
      7. Celebrate your successes
      8. Face your fears. Ask the question ‘What is the worst possible thing that can happen.”  If you allow yourself to answer this question, you’ll probably find that the answer is not as big as you have imagined it to be.

Featured image by Paolo Nicolello

Can a Feather be a Message?

Did you know that you receive messages from your guidance regularly?  We are often unaware of this phenomenon for two primary reasons.

      • We have not been taught that our guidance exists
      • We ignore our feelings and messages, often attributing them to luck or coincidence.

Messages are not only from our feelings and intuition but rather they appear in many ways.  I recently received one in the form of a feather- in fact, it was a black hawk feather!

Let me share my story of this feather and its’ message to illustrate one way you may receive a message.

It was Monday morning and I had an interview with a radio station at 2 pm.  In my excitement, I spent a great deal of time and effort preparing. It was my first interview for my book Your Personal Guidance System.”

That morning as part of my daily routine, I went out to feed my horses.  When I stepped into the road that led to the corral, there was a large black feather on the ground.  This was highly unusual, in fact, I don’t think I’ve ever seen a feather that big.  My first thought was that it was a raven feather, but upon closer inspection, I found it had a white tip.  Ravens are completely black so I knew that this could not belong to them.

We periodically see a black hawk sitting on the electrical pole at the back of the corral.  I wondered if it was one of theirs.  Black hawks do have a white tip at the end of their tail.  By the size of the feather and the white tip, I surmised that it had belonged to a black hawk! I truly love feathers.  When I’m outside I often find different feathers in our yard, and every time I spot one, they are promptly placed in my hair.

Today’s feather was different.  It was large and apparently from a bird that is not around a lot.  Due to the unusualness of the situation, I knew it was a message. I had previously received communication from my guidance in the form of a feather.  So, I was pretty sure they were using this feather to convey a message.  (Everyone does have help.  Your guidance will find ways to get your attention, by using something that resonates with you, to communicate its’ messages.)

I have found that hawks are often messengers, so I understood that it had some significance.  One of my favorite ways to help me interpret my messages is to go the internet and search for the meaning of whatever I have come across.  So that day I searched for the “spiritual meaning of a hawk feather.”  I usually select the first website that shows up or one that catches my attention.  That day I found the first website was called “Meaning of Feathers.”

The following is from the website http://meaningoffeathers.com/hawk-feather-meaning/

Spiritual Meaning of finding a Hawk Feather

“You are being asked to take notice of your dream state and waking state. The Universe, God, Spirit is delivering a message to you and you need to stop, breathe, and take in those messages fully. Your life is taking a turn that will lead you on the path to happiness, joy, success, and love. Stop. Listen. Write down your dreams. Listen to your messages.”

My book is about helping people gain the confidence to follow their dreams by having peace of mind knowing they have help.  The book assists you in learning how to “hear” and “recognize” your guidance when it communicates its’ messages to you.

Just as my feather said.  “Listen to your messages.  … take notice of your dream… Your life is taking a turn that will lead you on the path to happiness, joy, success, and love!”

The feather was an incredible message confirming what is contained in my book! Many people might have looked at the feather as being “cool” but would not have imagined it to be a message!

Featured image by Vignesh Kumar R B

Sources of your Limiting Beliefs

Have you ever noticed yourself avoiding certain situations, even though you really wanted to participate?  Do you hold back even though your heart is longing to do something?  You are not alone, many people would like to live their lives a bit differently, but something keeps holding them back.  Discovering your beliefs and where they originated from can help you understand the limits that you have placed on your life.

Finding the source of your beliefs and ideas is important to fully understand just how they came about and the falsities within them.  When you recognize how and where they originated, you can see that these ideas and beliefs may not be true.  The way you interpreted the situation, at that time may have fit the situation, but more than likely it is no longer valid.   When you know where it started you can:

      1. Appreciate how it came about
      2. See the “flaws” in the belief that was formed
      3. Can easily change that belief/idea into a more harmonious one

If you don’t understand how it originated, then your subconscious may keep you operating from an idea that no longer serves you. Knowing what the source is, assists you in eliminating the belief.  For example, if you have believed that “you are too old to start a new career,” and know that this belief comes from fear and a belief you formed when seeing a parent fail while trying to change careers, you can understand why you formed this belief and you can also see the flaw in it.  Recognizing this, you can now easily say “No, that is not true!”

Beliefs and ideas that negatively influence your life are frequently formed by our experiences and our interactions with others. Let’s explore these.

Experiences are events that influence how we think and interact with different situations, people, and life. These events can be traumatic, fun, joyful, or just plain uneventful.  Our beliefs about life and ourselves are often formed at these times.

For example, if you are struggling in a situation, perhaps a certain subject in school, or a game with friends, different ideas are formed about yourself and the world from these situations.  Ideas such as:

      • life is challenging or hard
      • it is difficult to win
      • I’m not smart, intelligent or good

These ideas can then become beliefs, that then influence your actions in life.  If you think you can’t win, you might not enter any contests, or try out for something you would like.  If you do enter a contest, you might pursue it with the belief that you are probably not going to win and your actions will reflect this belief.  Recognizing your beliefs started with a certain situation, i.e. struggling in school or in a game, allows you to see the falseness in that idea. The idea/belief can’t be applied to every situation, however, we seem to do that quite frequently.

Another example of how experiences can influence your beliefs could be an argument that escalated to the point where you may have lost a friendship or a valued relationship. You may come away with beliefs such as

      • standing my ground only results in loss
      • there is no way to peacefully resolve anything
      • why should I try to present my point of view, I will only get hurt

These beliefs become embedded in your subconscious, then affect your behavior and how you react.  It is important to understand that the argument was specific to that time and is not a reflection of future situations.  Future situations may appear the same primarily because of your expectation and belief.  Our perceptions and beliefs often cloud the reality of any situation.

Now let’s look at how people can impact our beliefs.  People are important, however, our relationships with them can impact you significantly in how you view yourself.  Some interactions are positive and others are not.   Take, for example, you are constantly told by family, friends, and/or teachers that you won’t amount to anything.  You may adopt that belief that “you lack any value.”   This often creates self-fulfilling prophecies. It is important to recognize that their words do not represent the truth, but only their perception based on their own limiting beliefs.

Everyone is not a scientist or a mathematician, just as not everyone is a musician or artist. Just think how boring our world would be if we were all the same.  Learn to appreciate and value yourself and every person.  By doing so eliminates the judgments of others and yourself, and the world becomes a nicer place.

What can you do?

      • Be an observer of your thoughts, this way you’ll catch yourself when you are limiting your actions.
      • Ask for help, for your personal guides, and from others.
      • Recognize where the belief came from, this is important so you can understand its’ flaws.

These are just a few things you can do. For more information on these ideas and more see my book “Your Personal Guidance System:  Unlock the Door to the Universe and Experience the Magic!”

Featured Image by Augustin Fernandez

 

Limiting Beliefs — Influence of Education: Part II

Education is a great thing for many reasons, it helps build social skills, teaches the basics of reading, and brings consistency to our communities.  However, it also can create difficulties for many people.  It isn’t intended to be this way, however unwittingly it does present some challenges for many people.  There are three areas of concern.

      1. Elevation of or de-elevating areas of study
      2. Having unique and different ideas
      3. Problem-solving and how it can be discouraged.

First, the trouble starts, when different subjects are elevated or “de-elevated” as having more or less value.  If you are lucky to have your gifts in the “elevated” subjects, life seems good.  However, if your gifts lie in subjects that are “de-elevated” you may pick up some beliefs that your gifts are not valuable, and even worse that you are not valuable.

Take, for instance, your talents lie in the arts.  When asked to draw a picture, yours is awe-inspiring.  Or, when you’re asked to play some music, your fingers glide over an instrument creating sounds of beauty.

You have great talent; however, you are in an English class where spelling is being taught. The art of spelling just doesn’t come easy to you.  If the ability to spell is viewed as being very important, yet you struggle with it, this is where limiting beliefs may develop.  You start to believe there is something “wrong” with you which may lead to a belief of “I am dimwitted.”  This isn’t true at all. It is only that your gifts do not lie in spelling.  And if the teacher points out your inabilities you again develop other limiting beliefs about yourself, such as “I am stupid.”   Does this sound familiar?

Now, let’s look at it in a different way.  Ask a person whose gifts lie in spelling, to draw a picture.  What you might find is that they draw stick figures very well, but that is all.  Are they “dimwitted” or “stupid?”  No, their gifts are just different.

It is important to recognize and value every persons’ gifts and skills.  When an artist is faced with spelling, they can ask others to edit or proof something.  And when the person who can spell is needing to have a visual piece, he can ask an artist to illustrate the idea.  This not only creates value for each person but also enhances how a true community operates.

One of the ways we elevate subjects over others is by some of the common phrases.  I’m sure you’ve heard of the starving artist, rocket scientist, bean counter, or the trash man.  All of these phrases either elevate or devalue someone.  This inherently creates a belief about that person. It doesn’t mean that they are true, but it can impact a person in how they feel about themselves and how they may react in life. Don’t let “common” phrases or beliefs influence you, look beyond them.

The second area of concern is when you have a different or unique idea.  Have you ever had your idea ignored or even squelched while in school?   When something doesn’t agree with what is being taught, it can be viewed as the person “doesn’t know what they are talking about” or even considered to be “a dumb idea.”  This does not happen all the time, however, it happens more than it should.

If you are the one with the novel idea, you may feel undervalued or become disenchanted.  This also can set up some limiting beliefs.  It can lead you to devalue your inherent gifts and/or become disillusioned with the world.  It may create beliefs such as it is “not safe to speak up,” “present new ideas” or “my ideas are bad.”  This in effect can limit how you see yourself and how you interact with the world.  For example, when an opportunity to bring forward an idea you have, your inner voice might say “remember what happened before, do not suggest it” or you think “no one will listen or believe me, so why should I try.”

If you find yourself thinking these or other negative thoughts, there are things you can do and they are outlined at the end of this article.

Lastly, problem-solving can be discouraged in education.  “How?” you might ask. It happens when the emphasis is on memorizing and knowing facts.  We become used to having the “correct” answers, encouraging you not to “make mistakes.”   What happens when we get the “wrong” answers?  We are penalized for it!  This inadvertently creates a belief that there is only one way to do something and blocks our ability to look at a situation in a different way, hence new solutions or ideas are not encouraged or brought forward.

In having a belief such as, “it is important to have the right answer,” your inner voice cautions “you might fail if you try something different” preventing you from attempting anything new.

What can you do?

In addition to the suggestions in my previous blog article: Limiting Beliefs and the Influences of Culture: Part I the following are some other things to consider.

      1. Follow your heart. Find the courage to listen, and take action.
      2. Look at the consequences of your belief. How is it preventing you from living your life fully?
      3. How has the belief become your expectation of the future?
      4. Identify what you want, and look at how you may be blocking it by beliefs you have acquired.
      5. Identify the excuses that you indulge in. What negative or pessimistic thoughts do you have?  How do these thoughts and excuses impact your actions?

Life is meant to be lived and enjoyed.  By taking one step at a time in following your heart, I’m sure you’ll find your way to happiness.

Image by: Grant Durr