Education is a great thing for many reasons, it helps build social skills, teaches the basics of reading, and brings consistency to our communities. However, it also can create difficulties for many people. It isn’t intended to be this way, however unwittingly it does present some challenges for many people. There are three areas of concern.
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- Elevation of or de-elevating areas of study
- Having unique and different ideas
- Problem-solving and how it can be discouraged.
First, the trouble starts, when different subjects are elevated or “de-elevated” as having more or less value. If you are lucky to have your gifts in the “elevated” subjects, life seems good. However, if your gifts lie in subjects that are “de-elevated” you may pick up some beliefs that your gifts are not valuable, and even worse that you are not valuable.
Take, for instance, your talents lie in the arts. When asked to draw a picture, yours is awe-inspiring. Or, when you’re asked to play some music, your fingers glide over an instrument creating sounds of beauty.
You have great talent; however, you are in an English class where spelling is being taught. The art of spelling just doesn’t come easy to you. If the ability to spell is viewed as being very important, yet you struggle with it, this is where limiting beliefs may develop. You start to believe there is something “wrong” with you which may lead to a belief of “I am dimwitted.” This isn’t true at all. It is only that your gifts do not lie in spelling. And if the teacher points out your inabilities you again develop other limiting beliefs about yourself, such as “I am stupid.” Does this sound familiar?
Now, let’s look at it in a different way. Ask a person whose gifts lie in spelling, to draw a picture. What you might find is that they draw stick figures very well, but that is all. Are they “dimwitted” or “stupid?” No, their gifts are just different.
It is important to recognize and value every persons’ gifts and skills. When an artist is faced with spelling, they can ask others to edit or proof something. And when the person who can spell is needing to have a visual piece, he can ask an artist to illustrate the idea. This not only creates value for each person but also enhances how a true community operates.
One of the ways we elevate subjects over others is by some of the common phrases. I’m sure you’ve heard of the starving artist, rocket scientist, bean counter, or the trash man. All of these phrases either elevate or devalue someone. This inherently creates a belief about that person. It doesn’t mean that they are true, but it can impact a person in how they feel about themselves and how they may react in life. Don’t let “common” phrases or beliefs influence you, look beyond them.
The second area of concern is when you have a different or unique idea. Have you ever had your idea ignored or even squelched while in school? When something doesn’t agree with what is being taught, it can be viewed as the person “doesn’t know what they are talking about” or even considered to be “a dumb idea.” This does not happen all the time, however, it happens more than it should.
If you are the one with the novel idea, you may feel undervalued or become disenchanted. This also can set up some limiting beliefs. It can lead you to devalue your inherent gifts and/or become disillusioned with the world. It may create beliefs such as it is “not safe to speak up,” “present new ideas” or “my ideas are bad.” This in effect can limit how you see yourself and how you interact with the world. For example, when an opportunity to bring forward an idea you have, your inner voice might say “remember what happened before, do not suggest it” or you think “no one will listen or believe me, so why should I try.”
If you find yourself thinking these or other negative thoughts, there are things you can do and they are outlined at the end of this article.
Lastly, problem-solving can be discouraged in education. “How?” you might ask. It happens when the emphasis is on memorizing and knowing facts. We become used to having the “correct” answers, encouraging you not to “make mistakes.” What happens when we get the “wrong” answers? We are penalized for it! This inadvertently creates a belief that there is only one way to do something and blocks our ability to look at a situation in a different way, hence new solutions or ideas are not encouraged or brought forward.
In having a belief such as, “it is important to have the right answer,” your inner voice cautions “you might fail if you try something different” preventing you from attempting anything new.
What can you do?
In addition to the suggestions in my previous blog article: Limiting Beliefs and the Influences of Culture: Part I the following are some other things to consider.
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- Follow your heart. Find the courage to listen, and take action.
- Look at the consequences of your belief. How is it preventing you from living your life fully?
- How has the belief become your expectation of the future?
- Identify what you want, and look at how you may be blocking it by beliefs you have acquired.
- Identify the excuses that you indulge in. What negative or pessimistic thoughts do you have? How do these thoughts and excuses impact your actions?
Life is meant to be lived and enjoyed. By taking one step at a time in following your heart, I’m sure you’ll find your way to happiness.
Image by: Grant Durr
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Posted: February 11, 2021 by Joan Spencer
Connecting
Connecting
In the current situation of social distancing, many have lost physical contact with friends, family, and others. This has created sadness and despair for many, while others have learned to connect in new ways.
I would like to ask you “How are you connecting?” “Have you let it change your entire life for the worse?” Or, “Have you found ways to adapt?”
I believe that the universe is asking us to change. Are you open and willing?
It’s important to understand “What are connections?” They are the links and associations that bind us to other things. For example, our experiences create bonds to people, animals, and objects, and our memories influence these relationships, for better or worse.
Since we are experiencing a change in how we connect and I would like to suggest a few ideas to help people.
First, a simple way of connecting I discovered was when we moved to a rural community. I was amazed to see how friendly the neighbors were. As we drove down the road, people we didn’t know were acknowledging and waving at us. We didn’t know them, but here they were, greeting us in a friendly manner! This recognition felt pretty incredible!
Because of this, I started to do the same. Not ‘knowing’ who the people are but knowing that they are somehow neighbors and are important. This practice has enriched my life immensely, especially during this period of time of isolation.
Another way to connect is when you go to the store, smile through your mask, and acknowledge the people you pass. Often, a “Hello,” or “How’s your day going?” provides an easy connection. The conversation that ensues is sure to be pleasant and you’d be amazed at how this enriches your life. And just imagine what it does for the other person. You never know what they are going through and how you just might have made their day.
Connecting with nature is another way to enrich your life. This is often overlooked. There are so many creatures and plants that are just waiting to be your friend. For example, the tree that has always stood in front of your home, providing you shade and protection. Stop for a moment and notice the branches and its’ shape. Greet it, and wish it a good day. You just might see it smile back at you or bow in your honor. Life is magical—just step into it and see!
Talk to the birds, the plants, the bugs. They are all beings living in this world ready and willing to work with you. I am rarely lonely as I have many friends in nature. They support me as I try to support them and the relationship is enchanting!
Change your perspective. A friend of mine who is a musician has been playing some gigs in our area, she states she is cautious with the virus but is also allowing herself to live! She wears her mask when social distancing isn’t available and makes sure she takes good care of herself. She connects with others while helping lift their moods through her music.
In this time of uncertainty, there are many opportunities to connect. They may be different from what we know, but there is plenty of ways we can enhance our well-being and lives.
Opportunities in this disconnect!
As you find the courage to step into this new world, be grateful for all the things you learn and encounter.
Life is meant to be lived.
Featured picture by Fabian Gieske, Unsplash.com
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Posted: September 15, 2020 by Joan Spencer
8 Benefits of Kindness & Helping Others
At this time in the world where there is a lot of uncertainty, being kind and considerate of others is very important. When you can lend a helping hand to someone, it can ease anxiety and worry, creating a better place for everyone.
Do you remember a situation when you surprised someone with something special for them? How did you feel? How did they feel? This state of connection and joy that you experienced, decreases worries, anxiety, and fear. These emotions reduce and “go out the window”—at least for a while. Now imagine, feeling this way all the time. All it takes is kindness towards another being—animal, plant, or human to create this.
What is even better is that everyone wins!! It is a win-win situation.
Here are 8 Ways You Win with Kindness!
Helping others is just good business!! Everyone wins!
Now that we know how beneficial it is to help another, here are some ideas and reminders of things we can do. These are easy to do when you get caught up in a busy life. When doing these acts, remember to do it from your heart!
Here are 8 things you can do!
When you intend to benefit others, you receive so much.
“No one has ever become poor by giving.”
Anne Frank
Featured Image by Austin Kehmeier From Unsplash.com
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Posted: August 15, 2020 by Joan Spencer
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Posted: August 15, 2020 by Joan Spencer
Sources of your Limiting Beliefs
Have you ever noticed yourself avoiding certain situations, even though you really wanted to participate? Do you hold back even though your heart is longing to do something? You are not alone, many people would like to live their lives a bit differently, but something keeps holding them back. Discovering your beliefs and where they originated from can help you understand the limits that you have placed on your life.
Finding the source of your beliefs and ideas is important to fully understand just how they came about and the falsities within them. When you recognize how and where they originated, you can see that these ideas and beliefs may not be true. The way you interpreted the situation, at that time may have fit the situation, but more than likely it is no longer valid. When you know where it started you can:
If you don’t understand how it originated, then your subconscious may keep you operating from an idea that no longer serves you. Knowing what the source is, assists you in eliminating the belief. For example, if you have believed that “you are too old to start a new career,” and know that this belief comes from fear and a belief you formed when seeing a parent fail while trying to change careers, you can understand why you formed this belief and you can also see the flaw in it. Recognizing this, you can now easily say “No, that is not true!”
Beliefs and ideas that negatively influence your life are frequently formed by our experiences and our interactions with others. Let’s explore these.
Experiences are events that influence how we think and interact with different situations, people, and life. These events can be traumatic, fun, joyful, or just plain uneventful. Our beliefs about life and ourselves are often formed at these times.
For example, if you are struggling in a situation, perhaps a certain subject in school, or a game with friends, different ideas are formed about yourself and the world from these situations. Ideas such as:
These ideas can then become beliefs, that then influence your actions in life. If you think you can’t win, you might not enter any contests, or try out for something you would like. If you do enter a contest, you might pursue it with the belief that you are probably not going to win and your actions will reflect this belief. Recognizing your beliefs started with a certain situation, i.e. struggling in school or in a game, allows you to see the falseness in that idea. The idea/belief can’t be applied to every situation, however, we seem to do that quite frequently.
Another example of how experiences can influence your beliefs could be an argument that escalated to the point where you may have lost a friendship or a valued relationship. You may come away with beliefs such as
These beliefs become embedded in your subconscious, then affect your behavior and how you react. It is important to understand that the argument was specific to that time and is not a reflection of future situations. Future situations may appear the same primarily because of your expectation and belief. Our perceptions and beliefs often cloud the reality of any situation.
Now let’s look at how people can impact our beliefs. People are important, however, our relationships with them can impact you significantly in how you view yourself. Some interactions are positive and others are not. Take, for example, you are constantly told by family, friends, and/or teachers that you won’t amount to anything. You may adopt that belief that “you lack any value.” This often creates self-fulfilling prophecies. It is important to recognize that their words do not represent the truth, but only their perception based on their own limiting beliefs.
Everyone is not a scientist or a mathematician, just as not everyone is a musician or artist. Just think how boring our world would be if we were all the same. Learn to appreciate and value yourself and every person. By doing so eliminates the judgments of others and yourself, and the world becomes a nicer place.
What can you do?
These are just a few things you can do. For more information on these ideas and more see my book “Your Personal Guidance System: Unlock the Door to the Universe and Experience the Magic!”
Featured Image by Augustin Fernandez
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Posted: July 31, 2020 by Joan Spencer
Limiting Beliefs — Influence of Education: Part II
Education is a great thing for many reasons, it helps build social skills, teaches the basics of reading, and brings consistency to our communities. However, it also can create difficulties for many people. It isn’t intended to be this way, however unwittingly it does present some challenges for many people. There are three areas of concern.
First, the trouble starts, when different subjects are elevated or “de-elevated” as having more or less value. If you are lucky to have your gifts in the “elevated” subjects, life seems good. However, if your gifts lie in subjects that are “de-elevated” you may pick up some beliefs that your gifts are not valuable, and even worse that you are not valuable.
Take, for instance, your talents lie in the arts. When asked to draw a picture, yours is awe-inspiring. Or, when you’re asked to play some music, your fingers glide over an instrument creating sounds of beauty.
You have great talent; however, you are in an English class where spelling is being taught. The art of spelling just doesn’t come easy to you. If the ability to spell is viewed as being very important, yet you struggle with it, this is where limiting beliefs may develop. You start to believe there is something “wrong” with you which may lead to a belief of “I am dimwitted.” This isn’t true at all. It is only that your gifts do not lie in spelling. And if the teacher points out your inabilities you again develop other limiting beliefs about yourself, such as “I am stupid.” Does this sound familiar?
Now, let’s look at it in a different way. Ask a person whose gifts lie in spelling, to draw a picture. What you might find is that they draw stick figures very well, but that is all. Are they “dimwitted” or “stupid?” No, their gifts are just different.
It is important to recognize and value every persons’ gifts and skills. When an artist is faced with spelling, they can ask others to edit or proof something. And when the person who can spell is needing to have a visual piece, he can ask an artist to illustrate the idea. This not only creates value for each person but also enhances how a true community operates.
One of the ways we elevate subjects over others is by some of the common phrases. I’m sure you’ve heard of the starving artist, rocket scientist, bean counter, or the trash man. All of these phrases either elevate or devalue someone. This inherently creates a belief about that person. It doesn’t mean that they are true, but it can impact a person in how they feel about themselves and how they may react in life. Don’t let “common” phrases or beliefs influence you, look beyond them.
The second area of concern is when you have a different or unique idea. Have you ever had your idea ignored or even squelched while in school? When something doesn’t agree with what is being taught, it can be viewed as the person “doesn’t know what they are talking about” or even considered to be “a dumb idea.” This does not happen all the time, however, it happens more than it should.
If you are the one with the novel idea, you may feel undervalued or become disenchanted. This also can set up some limiting beliefs. It can lead you to devalue your inherent gifts and/or become disillusioned with the world. It may create beliefs such as it is “not safe to speak up,” “present new ideas” or “my ideas are bad.” This in effect can limit how you see yourself and how you interact with the world. For example, when an opportunity to bring forward an idea you have, your inner voice might say “remember what happened before, do not suggest it” or you think “no one will listen or believe me, so why should I try.”
If you find yourself thinking these or other negative thoughts, there are things you can do and they are outlined at the end of this article.
Lastly, problem-solving can be discouraged in education. “How?” you might ask. It happens when the emphasis is on memorizing and knowing facts. We become used to having the “correct” answers, encouraging you not to “make mistakes.” What happens when we get the “wrong” answers? We are penalized for it! This inadvertently creates a belief that there is only one way to do something and blocks our ability to look at a situation in a different way, hence new solutions or ideas are not encouraged or brought forward.
In having a belief such as, “it is important to have the right answer,” your inner voice cautions “you might fail if you try something different” preventing you from attempting anything new.
What can you do?
In addition to the suggestions in my previous blog article: Limiting Beliefs and the Influences of Culture: Part I the following are some other things to consider.
Life is meant to be lived and enjoyed. By taking one step at a time in following your heart, I’m sure you’ll find your way to happiness.
Image by: Grant Durr